I get to go to the beach in 59 Days!

I have several topics to cover today. Here they are, in no special order, but probably the order I will write about them in anyhow:
1) robotic killer wasps
2) Cat Power
3) Peter Fand
4) cleaning out my purse this morning
5) a new potential collection item for my home
6) 59 days until I go to the beach
7) my best friend’s wedding (literally)
8) my personal thoughts on weddings
9) why I don’t get into the ocean

OK, to start with, in downtown St. Louis, where I work, there are these big metal round things with what appear to be rabbit ears coming out of the sides of them and little balls on top. I asked my wonderful, caring, much appreciated, and gorgeous boyfriend what he thought they were.

I was expecting an answer like, “probably some kind of sensor to detect cars for the traffic lights,” or even, “probably some kind of camera that takes your license plate picture if you run the light and then they send you a ticket.”

No.

This is what I got, “Well, you see, sometimes those little antennas on the side shoot out little robotic killer wasps. So you better watch out. I’m serious.”

Wtf? OK, I know it was early in the morning, but come on. Actually, let’s give him props for creativity and just hope he’s not right.

Cat Power, and I’m not talking about the super ability my adorable Russian Blue has to jump eight feet in the air and still not catch that bug he’s after. My Russian Blue who has been deemed merely No. 2 cat in the world (he was previously No. 1 until SOMEONE changed his mind and went for his maybe-to-be-girlfriend-but-definitely-ex-girlfriend-at-the-moment’s cat). Just letting everyone know, Baby has confided in me that his feelings are extremely hurt and his soul is just crushed about this news. He worked very hard for his gold and feels like he's been wrongfully out-catted to silver.

Cat Power, the musical artist – this is the topic I’m talking about. Have you ever seen Juno? She’s on that soundtrack. Sea of Love, that’s the song on the soundtrack – it plays when Juno’s actually having her baby and Jennifer Garner is seeing her adopted baby boy for the first time. It fits really nicely in there.

Anyway, I put an entirely different meaning to it whenever I listen to it, and I know this sounds super-entirely-corny, but every time I listen to it I totally cry. Not because of the Juno baby thing, even though that’s sweet and all, but because of my own personal reasons and events in my life (which actually has a very big Juno connection – no I was never pregnant and giving up my baby for adoption). Listen to the lyrics of that song. Sure, they're simple, but they totally make me bawl, and in a sappy way, not in a sad way.

This is ridiculous for anyone who may know me because if you really know me, you know I don’t cry. I am my mother’s daughter. Her life’s philosophy is, “Suck it up.” She’s one of those hardcore nurses. Living with several ridiculously stupid medical disorders my entire life, this “Suck it up,” and, “WhatEVER,” philosophy of hers has really become an ingrained part of my life’s philosophy as well. I can’t remember a single time in my life when my mother has cried at something as sappy as a stupid love song for any kind of reason (this is excluding the part in "Little House on the Prairie" when supposedly Jack the dog drowns in a flash flood - even though she KNOWS he comes back and isn't dead after all). And I follow in her footsteps. She’s the strongest woman I know, and if I can be one ounce as strong as she has been my entire life, then I will truly be the person I have always been driven to become.

But this stupid song makes me break down and lose it.

It's kind of like when (some) people look at wedding proposals on YouTube and start crying over them. Same idea.

And her other songs are awesome as well.

MOVING ON. (*OBAMA ’08!*)

Peter Fand. He's got several albums out, however, his newest one which is not out yet - Exporter I'mporter - is really going to be worth checking out. I have had the opportunity to listen to a before-released album and it's kind of like a Paul Simon deal. So that's cool. The boy toy says that his voice isn't strong enough to pull off some of the vocals he "tries" to do - but I disagree. And I can do that in this country without getting hit, and I take full advantage of that by disagreeing with a lot of stuff men say. They don't make babies by themselves, you know.

And what kind of gut-belting vocals does Paul Simon ever pull off anyhow?

I cleaned out my purse this morning, and now there are crumbies all over the carpet in front of my desk. The janitor will hate me.

Today my dad sent me an email letting me know that he will be going out of town tomorrow for a show in Milwaukee. Normally, when people go somewhere I ask them to bring me back sand, so I asked him to bring me back sand. He sent me back an email saying - FROM MILWAUKEE?

So, I asked him to maybe just bring me back dirt. I have stated before that I collect seashells, rocks and sand from places - but I could start putting dirt in jars as well. As if I needed more stuff in jars around my home, or more dirt for that matter. However, if he brings me back dirt, I suppose I'll start a dirt collection, would should be fairly interesting - maybe not to anyone else but me - but I think it'd be nice. Dirt has all different colors after all; just like sand! I think I'll just ask him to bring me back a rock instead.

Alright, I just sent him an email asking for a rock instead. My grandpa collects/used to collect rocks. He has them all sorted out by type, fossils, etc. and labeled. I think that's awesome. He used to be a science teacher, however, he did not teach geology - he taught horticulture.

My whole family's nuts. I love them.

Today, it's exactly 59 days until I get to go to the beach, which is all I want for my birthday (which is 11 days away) besides a card - since my wonderful, caring, sweet boyfriend is offering to take me there and pay for the whole thing himself. So what more could I want? Nothing at all. Except to possibly live on the beach, which I will someday do - I don't care how little my house is, how little insurance I will ever be able to get on it, or how much my mother warns me about hurricanes. Sorry mom, I'm going to live on the beach someday, even if it's just a second little house. It will be my little sanctuary and I will revel in it.

This is my favorite quote of all time:
"If you're lucky enough to live on the beach, then you're lucky enough."

This is coming from a born and bred Midwest girl of course, but it can't be helped. My mother is the strongest and most practical woman I know and I would be humbled to have her courage and strength, but my father is the one who has instilled in me the realization of all the beauty and dreams in the world which I remember to soak up and take with me always. I would never survive without that precious gift. The beach is from my father, thank you daddy.

One of my very best friends is getting married Aug. 1st of next year (2009) - Ellie. I've been asked to be a dual-maid of honor with my very good friend Jen. "OK," said I. So, there you have it. Now, in addition to trying to pin down a husband of my own I've got the responsibilities of helping to plan someone else's wedding. That's fine - I think I'll just freakin' elope anyway. Or, I'll have my sister be my maid of honor because I know she won't bother to even think to put together any kind of bridal shower or bachelorette party for me - because she knows I don't want/need any of that.

If I get married - everyone - this is important. I am going to register for gifts at Target, Macy's, and probably want Schnucks gift cards to help pay for my meds. Really, all I'm going to want is a food processor, a knife block set, and another set of sheets. Is this so hard? I think not. My house is small, and I can't fit too much more into it. If you'd like to give me a vacation to somewhere warm, I would be very willing to take you up on that offer as well. Also, I wouldn't mind it if someone wanted to buy my house for me, give me a greenhouse or a hot tub. And I'm really kind of interested in those tub-pool things that has that current that flows in one direction so you can swim "laps" in it without actually going anywhere... have you seen those infomercials? That thing fascinates me and I wouldn't mind one of those either. But see if you could get one heated, so it'd be like a hot tub and a lap pool all in one. THAT would be ideal. But I'm not expecting it. Heck, I'm not even engaged, much less planning a wedding yet - so don't get too concerned with my presents yet, OK?

OK, and my last bit from today: Why I don't get in the ocean.

I don't get in the ocean because I am afraid of mostly everything that lives in the ocean (except for sea turtles). I don't want anything that lives in the ocean even touching me because it feels gross and creepy and I'm sure it would be different if I were a mermaid and married to Michael Phelps, but I'm not so I don't like the ocean.

Also, there are many things in the ocean that might eat or harm me.

I feel I have a deal with things that might eat me and for this explanation, I am going to quote from an email I once sent my good man Charlie Brown:

"I don't eat certain things purely because I'm scared that if I eat them, they will have the fair right to eat me back. I know that's a little strange, but it makes perfect reasonable sense to me. Such as:
- Sharks
- Giant Squids
- Alligators or Crocodiles (although I did have "alligator on a stick" once - but I said sorry, sorry, SORRY to the great Alligator gods or whatever and it didn't even taste that great. In fact, it tasted exactly like chicken, which I am not even kidding about. And I will NEVER, EVER eat it again.
- Snakes
- Snapping turtles
- Jellyfish, but I don't think you can really eat those anyway.
- Large Predatory Mammals such as Komodo Dragons (which by the way are not mammals), Lions, Tigers and Bears, Oh my!
- Large non-Predatory Mammals (because they are underestimated and will still manage to impale or chomp or trample you, even if they don't eat you afterwards) such as Hippopotamuses, Elephants, Rhinoceroses, Baboons, and big Deer.

That's pretty much all I can think of right now in that field.

So, Over and out.